A late-summer’s mid-life crisis

Am I still relevant?

The words ring in my ears lately like a bad case of Tinnitus.

I never thought that taking a few years off to take care of my girls would cost me so much of myself, and yet here I am …

– loosing grasp of my toddler’s hands as they wander off on their own, no longer needing the balance within my gravity, and finding myself unable to reclaim the perch in which I spent many years carving out my silhouette.

Here I am.

I recently got my septum pierced. At 34. And now it may be a constant reminder of me trying to relive my youth. The mirror just taunts me.

Is this my midlife crisis? Without the fancy car, without the whore on the side… is this it? Do women experience something similar when they try to return to life after kids?

My mirror may indicate so.

But I feel more like me. Hoop and all. The searching for identity lost and discovering it is no longer there is a good thing. It is growth.

And perhaps the hole in my stomach should’ve been the last but I will learn to love this new septum-pierced, exploring individual I see before me.

Because I am more than a mom…

Holes and all.

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