Post-Partum Anxiety and Depression: The View from Down Here

There's a darkness within us all- that's a lesson I didn't really want to learn. A darkness so deep and sticky that it has the ability to just coat everything in this indescribable heaviness. It crept up on me like a cloud, slowly blurring the lines between the rational and irrational. It took me months to … Continue reading Post-Partum Anxiety and Depression: The View from Down Here

Another Day, Another Spill

Some days it gets too much. Not the crying, or the whining, or the bickering, or the constant questions. It's not the runny noses, or the cries for snacks, or the screams for attention. It's the the repetition of tasks drives me crazy. Absolute bonkers. I'm sure it is the main cause of my Zoloft … Continue reading Another Day, Another Spill

Moms need tantrums too

From the moment I begin my day to the second my feet collasp on my mattress, I am at service. I clean up shit all day long, figuratively and literally. Poo and shit; feces and just crap all over the place - constant and automatic... this mechanics of the household just wants more and more … Continue reading Moms need tantrums too

Let’s talk about (S)EX

Or maybe not specifically about sex or even about relationships past, but about the lasting effects buried deep inside us that just find the most vulnerable moments to resurface. Only me? Well, this is going to be fun. Let's start off with the serious bits first... My past is a lesson in what not to … Continue reading Let’s talk about (S)EX

You are what you repeatedly do

Are we? Are we are repetitious actions or can we be what we summarize to ourselves? Is it possible to create your own identity or is identity only in reflection of what other people see? I wonder what other people see when they see me. I've moved around so much that I'm just fragments of … Continue reading You are what you repeatedly do

The Breast Not-Lump

The breast check. Who my age really does it? I never checked my breasts until I received the gift of Post-partum Anxiety and Depression and then with a vengeance, my PTSD (another lovely story for later) came back in the form of body scanning. So I'm not one to unbiasedly answer my own question. Do … Continue reading The Breast Not-Lump

The self diagnosis

I've been struggling lately. Struggling with this undying sense of mediocrity. Maybe it's because I grew up a thinking that I was special... like actually special... not just like "everyone is special" but I grew up knowing I would do something amazing. But I haven't. Not in terms of where I had placed the mark … Continue reading The self diagnosis